I bet you have heard that phrase before. You might have heard it from a spouse, or a teacher, or a supervisor—someone admitting to you their frustration about how late you are. I bet there is a chance that even you might have said it in frustration to someone else, haven’t you?
We are in such a rush about everything. There is just so much to do, and we feel responsible to get everything done perfectly. It is especially frustrating if we feel like others are “holding us up” or keeping us from getting done what needs to be done. So, in an effort to do things well, we over-commit ourselves, and end up working ourselves to death. My colleague, Kelli Gwilt, wrote about balancing our lives last week, and it got me to thinking about a healthy response to work.
Does this sound like you? You put in a full week of work; you tend for the needs of the household and family; you are committed to your local church or civic organization or where you kids attend school (or all three), and that takes 10-20 hours of your time; and you just feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. By some measures, you might be putting in 60, 70, or more hours a week. And yet you feel like that your efforts weren’t enough, that you aren’t good enough, and that no one is satisfied. You just can’t please anybody….
There is a story from the life of Jesus in Luke 10:38-42 that might speak to those of us in this situation. Mary and Martha were preparing for a special guest. [i] Martha insisted that everything be “just right.” The house had to be in order, the sink had to be scrubbed, the big family Bible had to be on the coffee table, and the most sumptuous feast had to be concocted. When Jesus arrived, Martha was still hustling about, barely wiping her hands on her apron to shake His, and then she was off to the kitchen again. Mary, on the other hand, sat down at Jesus’ feet and played the candid host.
Martha became quite upset. This was a very important time—a special guest, a special house arrangement, and a special meal. An evaluation of her and her efforts would be based on the sum of these parts. So everything must be at its best or folks would think less of Martha. Martha’s anxiety built until she could stand it no longer, and stormed into the presence of Jesus to request Mary’s reprimand. She fully expected that Jesus would applaud her and chastise Mary. It seemed like for all of her life, this had been the situation. Martha would do all the work, and Mary would sit around and bat her eyes at the boys. Surely, now Martha would be proved right—and it would be about time!
Then the most surprising thing happened. Jesus apparently had other plans in mind. Instead of scolding Mary, Jesus focused on Martha. Jesus said, “Martha, you feel you must do so many things, and therefore, many things trouble you. There is only one thing that has this ‘must do’ sense about it. And Mary has chosen the good part.”
The trouble is, for folks like Martha, we think we have chosen the good part by working so hard. But instead, we are depleting our own resources, and in the end, working against ourselves. We kid ourselves into believing we are trying to please others, but the truth is that we may be trying to please ourselves. We are our own toughest critic. So, we work harder because we are afraid of how we don’t like ourselves when we don’t. How can Jesus tell Martha (and us) to stop working so hard? Well, the Gospels tell us that at times Jesus went away to be by himself (Luke 4:42), and even God took a Sabbath at creation. Maybe Jesus is saying, “Work hard, yes, but balance hard work with rest and play, too.”
It’s about time, but not in the sense that we thought it was originally. Take advantage of your time. Breathe deeply. Stop rushing. Take a break. Enjoy the moment. You know, I have never heard anyone, who was reflecting back on life, say, “I wish I had worked harder. I wish I had done more tasks faster. I wish I had shouldered more burdens.” It’s totally the opposite that we hear, isn’t it? Don’t they usually say things like, “Enjoy more sunsets, smell more flowers, make more children giggle, and eat more chocolate chip cookies”? Ok, I added the part about the cookies, but the point is the same—slow down, take some time. You have ultimate acceptance by God, who shows you your value by sending Jesus Christ, the Son. Get it? God, the Creator of everything thinks you are top notch! If God so loves us, shouldn’t we also love ourselves? And if we love ourselves, isn’t it all right to slow down, and to take time to nurture, to refresh, and to care for ourselves?
So, today, maybe even right now, take a breather. Maybe get up from where you are, go out to appreciate the wonder of your surroundings, and the miracle of this day. Do it—it’s about time.
[i] This retelling of the story of Mary and Martha and the substance of this blog are drawn from Christopher C. Conver and Leigh E. Conver, Self-Defeating Life-Styles (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1988, pgs. 123-128).
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