"Coached"

I bet you this situation has happened to you.  You are trying to mind the speed limit, and trying to be a safe driver. Perhaps you have a teen of drive-able age now, and you want to model for them how to drive carefully. Or, perhaps you are in no particular hurry, and just want to relax, and de-stress for a few moments alone in the car. But then, some crazy driver zooms past, careens in front of you, just in time to exit at high speeds off to the right. “You unclean offspring of a domesticated canine!” you growl.

And it has happened again. Someone or something has brought you down to your lowest base level.  You were fine, and then the driver cut you off, or your neighbor ran over your petunias, or your child mouthed off at you, or you got to class to discover that your mid-term project was due tonight and not next week as you thought. And that sets you off, and lures into being someone you don’t like to be.

I had a pastor friend who defined the word, enemy, as “anyone who tempts you to be less than who you are.”  My friends, when I get stressed out, it seems to me that I might have a lot of enemies out there.... We can be tempted into being our worse, OR we can be coaxed toward being our best.

I had such an experience last Sunday. Sitting from the balcony during worship, I was able to see a small child, sitting in the lap of an adult, who was not the parent.  But there was that adult, kissing the child on the top of the head, and moving the finger of the child along the words in the hymnbook as we were singing—guiding, showing, loving the child in a song of the faith. And for a moment, I was coaxed, or perhaps better put, coached back to being my best.

“See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called, ‘the children of God.’” 1 John 3:1

Dr. Chris Conver

Pursue Your Passion

Zero to Hero

As a grandmother of eight, Sandra Holden was not convinced that she needed to go back to school to complete her degree. Mrs. Holden was employed as an in-home care-provider when she realized God’s calling on her life was more then what she was experiencing. Jim Woolums, Director of Campbellsville University in Louisville remembers when he first met Mrs. Holden, “She wasn’t sure if she had made the right choose to go back to school. Kelli (Gwilt, Assistant Director) and I helped her to understand, this was the right place to be.”

“I was afraid to back to school because people told me that I was not college material” said Holden. Despite the negative commits, Mrs. Holden began classes at CU-Louisville and soon finished her Associate’s degree. She would not stop there. Mrs. Holden continued in her studies until she graduated with her Bachelor’s in Educational Ministries.  “The Louisville Campus was like an extended family, they helped me stay focused so I could go on until I finished” said Holden.

“It was out of her Spiritual Formation class that she found her passion to help others,” said Woolums, “She wanted to turn her hurt into the ability to help others”. For years she had an idea of the older women in her church mentoring to the younger women. Mrs. Holden spoke with the wife of the pastor on a number of occasions but it appeared it would never happen. Then one day her Pastor approached and asked her to begin this ministry. 

“I wanted to learn how to help others overcome the negative feelings that I had been through during my time of grief.” said Holden who had suffered a lost of a child before attending CU-Louisville. “My intention was to learn how to speak to others that were going through what I went through; I needed to get over the fear of speaking to others” said Holden.

After graduation Mrs. Holden enrolled in the chaplaincy program at Baptist East Hospital in Louisville. She has just completed the program and is now excited about the future. Mrs. Holden commented on the staff at CU-Louisville, “I appreciate everyone’s help with both my emotional and physical problems that I endured during my time there. You (the staff) helped me keep the faith”.

Mrs. Holden continues to help others. Her ministry at the church continues to help younger women deal with the pressures that life offers. She also plans on extending her chaplaincy experience. Jim Woolums offers this compliment to Sandra Holden, “This is someone who went from zero to hero”. 

CU-Louisville is an extension of Campbellsville University offering a Christ-centered education for the adult learner. Their programs and classes are designed to help the busy adult complete their higher education while raising a family. For more information call 1-877-4CUGRAD or email Louisville@campbellsville.edu. 

Becoming the Lord's Prayer

Found this video on Youtube of Dr. Leonard Sweet speaking on "Becoming the Lord's Prayer"

It's About Time

I bet you have heard that phrase before. You might have heard it from a spouse, or a teacher, or a supervisor—someone admitting to you their frustration about how late you are.  I bet there is a chance that even you might have said it in frustration to someone else, haven’t you?

We are in such a rush about everything. There is just so much to do, and we feel responsible to get everything done perfectly. It is especially frustrating if we feel like others are “holding us up” or keeping us from getting done what needs to be done. So, in an effort to do things well, we over-commit ourselves, and end up working ourselves to death.  My colleague, Kelli Gwilt, wrote about balancing our lives last week, and it got me to thinking about a healthy response to work.

Does this sound like you? You put in a full week of work; you tend for the needs of the household and family; you are committed to your local church or civic organization or where you kids attend school (or all three), and that takes 10-20 hours of your time; and you just feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day.  By some measures, you might be putting in 60, 70, or more hours a week.  And yet you feel like that your efforts weren’t enough, that you aren’t good enough, and that no one is satisfied. You just can’t please anybody….

There is a story from the life of Jesus in Luke 10:38-42 that might speak to those of us in this situation. Mary and Martha were preparing for a special guest. [i] Martha insisted that everything be “just right.” The house had to be in order, the sink had to be scrubbed, the big family Bible had to be on the coffee table, and the most sumptuous feast had to be concocted.  When Jesus arrived, Martha was still hustling about, barely wiping her hands on her apron to shake His, and then she was off to the kitchen again. Mary, on the other hand, sat down at Jesus’ feet and played the candid host.

Martha became quite upset. This was a very important time—a special guest, a special house arrangement, and a special meal. An evaluation of her and her efforts would be based on the sum of these parts. So everything must be at its best or folks would think less of Martha.  Martha’s anxiety built until she could stand it no longer, and stormed into the presence of Jesus to request Mary’s reprimand.  She fully expected that Jesus would applaud her and chastise Mary.  It seemed like for all of her life, this had been the situation.  Martha would do all the work, and Mary would sit around and bat her eyes at the boys. Surely, now Martha would be proved right—and it would be about time!

Then the most surprising thing happened. Jesus apparently had other plans in mind.  Instead of scolding Mary, Jesus focused on Martha. Jesus said, “Martha, you feel you must do so many things, and therefore, many things trouble you.  There is only one thing that has this ‘must do’ sense about it.  And Mary has chosen the good part.”

The trouble is, for folks like Martha, we think we have chosen the good part by working so hard. But instead, we are depleting our own resources, and in the end, working against ourselves. We kid ourselves into believing we are trying to please others, but the truth is that we may be trying to please ourselves. We are our own toughest critic. So, we work harder because we are afraid of how we don’t like ourselves when we don’t. How can Jesus tell Martha (and us) to stop working so hard? Well, the Gospels tell us that at times Jesus went away to be by himself (Luke 4:42), and even God took a Sabbath at creation. Maybe Jesus is saying, “Work hard, yes, but balance hard work with rest and play, too.”

It’s about time, but not in the sense that we thought it was originally.  Take advantage of your time. Breathe deeply. Stop rushing. Take a break. Enjoy the moment. You know, I have never heard anyone, who was reflecting back on life, say, “I wish I had worked harder.  I wish I had done more tasks faster. I wish I had shouldered more burdens.”  It’s totally the opposite that we hear, isn’t it?  Don’t they usually say things like, “Enjoy more sunsets, smell more flowers, make more children giggle, and eat more chocolate chip cookies”? Ok, I added the part about the cookies, but the point is the same—slow down, take some time. You have ultimate acceptance by God, who shows you your value by sending Jesus Christ, the Son.  Get it? God, the Creator of everything thinks you are top notch! If God so loves us, shouldn’t we also love ourselves?  And if we love ourselves, isn’t it all right to slow down, and to take time to nurture, to refresh, and to care for ourselves?

So, today, maybe even right now, take a breather. Maybe get up from where you are, go out to appreciate the wonder of your surroundings, and the miracle of this day. Do it—it’s about time.

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[i] This retelling of the story of Mary and Martha and the substance of this blog are drawn from Christopher C. Conver and Leigh E. Conver, Self-Defeating Life-Styles (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1988, pgs. 123-128).

A Balanced Life = A Balanced Meal

I’ve been asked to take my turn on the CU Louisville blog; this is new for me.  While trying to determine what to share with you, I’ve been talking with my husband, answering the phone, responding to emails, chatting with friends, texting my children, ordering textbooks online, and reconciling the office budget.  Some would call this “multi-tasking”…. I call it “colossal-tasking.”  After a few moments of this, there was clarity…. I will write about balancing (or juggling) life’s many tasks.  For those of you who have had me for class, you know that “work/life balance” is a passion of mine.  I struggle with keeping my work/life in balance, so I’m a student of that concept, just like many of you.  In reading and studying ways to help achieve this balance, I’ve discovered a few tips along the journey.  I’m looking forward to sharing some them with you as I take my turn around the blog maypole! 

Most of you know that I’m a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, and CU staff/faculty member.  My days are long and very full….. just like yours!  Despite our very busy lifestyles, taking care of our families is high on our list of priorities.  One way I try to take care of my family is by making sure they have a good meal to eat at dinnertime.  Now, don’t get me wrong, we do fast food and take out when necessary.  And, sometimes, it’s just necessary!  However, it gets expensive, and it’s really not very healthy.  So, with a little pre-planning on stocking the fridge and pantry, preparing meals ahead of time is one of the ways that I attempt to find balance.  Below is a quick recipe… I can’t promise it’s an original, but I think I’ve probably tweeked it enough that I can call it my own.  I’m not an exact cook, meaning that measuring amounts is not really part of my cooking agenda, so feel free to adjust anything to your personal tastes.  You can prepare this dish, store it in the fridge for 24 hours, and heat/eat later.  Hope you enjoy it….. let me know!

Shepherd’s Pie  

2# lean ground beef

1-2 cans of condensed tomato soup

½-1 cup beef broth

1 bag frozen mixed vegetables

3-4 cups mashed potatoes (real are best, but preparing instant will do too)

½ cup shredded cheese (I use cheddar, but any will do)

Salt/pepper/herbs to taste

Brown ground beef in large skillet; drain/rinse browned meat to remove excess fat.  Return meat to the skillet.  Add soup, broth and mixed vegetables to the meat.  (Add soup/broth to make the mixture the consistency of your choice.)  Allow mixture to warm through while seasoning to taste. 

Using cooking spray, coat a large casserole or baking dish.  Pour meat mixture into dish, spread mashed potatoes evenly over meat.  Before preparing to eat, top with shredded cheese and bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes, until hot all the way through.

HINT:  This dish is a meal by itself; however, I serve it with bread/butter and a side salad.

There…. One blog complete…. Task finished!

by

Kelli Gwilt
Assistant Director - CU Louisville

Random Acts

The terrified teen calls his mother at work, and pleads to be taken home from school.  A rumor had circulated that a shooting would take place sometime that day.  These are peculiar times.  When I was growing up, folks often left the back door to their homes open so that their kids (or any neighborhood kids) could come and go as they please. When I was growing up, rumors were about Billy Cantwood kissing Millie Smith behind the bleachers in the gym.  A shooting at a school?  Who could come up with a story as fantastic as that?

But times have changed. Columbine, Virginia Tech, and now another random act of gun violence in Arizona over the weekend have shocked us into a strange new world. And as our hearts break for those attacked, and our prayers go out for those still wrestling for life, our breath is snatched from us when we hear that the alleged shooter is another troubled young person.  Questions spurt forth like a dam bursting: A young person? What happened to innocence? What happened to our sense of security?  How could this happen? Where is God? Tough questions without easy answers…

In the wake of the Columbine shootings, Christian Ethicist Glen Stassen of Fuller Theological Seminary was asked how things like this happen?  Stassen consulted with the Hanna Perkins Center for Child and Adolescent Psychology in Cleveland to discover that the thread of continuity in acts of violence of this type is poverty of relationship.¹ Wow! Yes, of course, the answer is so obvious. Look at the descriptions of the alleged Arizona shooter, things like—“strange,” “kept to himself,” “socially awkward,” “scary,” and “obsessed with conspiracies."  Maybe the words, “poverty of relationship” also could have been used?

We live in society permeated by mistrust and venomous innuendo. Turn on any of a number of talk radio shows, or even some network television commentaries, and you will hear about how “they” (as opposed to those who feel similarly to the commentator) are sowing the seeds of destruction in our nation.  “They” might mean the political right, or the political left, people from other nationalities or faiths, the jobless, big business, environmentalists, socialists, you name it…. We perceive “they” or “them” as different, so they must be the cause of our woes.

We are isolating ourselves from each other, dividing ourselves into smaller and smaller groups of “us” versus “them.” For many of us, we’ve isolated ourselves to the extent of not even knowing the names of our neighbors. We are nurturing a culture filled to the brim with poverty of relationship.

What can be done? Where can we go from here?  Can the violence be stopped? Over the next few days, no doubt we will hear answers and explanations—some will be helpful, some may be not so helpful. No quick-fix solution is likely.  I don’t have the solution, but I can affirm a few things, and I offer them here for you:

1.                    God is here.  God is here with us, and God is there with them, too. Yes, God is with the victims, their families, the shooter, his family, us, immigrants, Muslims, big business, environmentalists, you name it…. I heard songwriter Ragan Courtney say once, in reference to those we might not know or like, “Their pictures hang on God’s refrigerator door, too.” We’re all in this together, and like it or not, I believe we all need each other.

2.                    As followers of Christ, we are compelled to lead lives like him—welcoming the stranger (and the strange), reaching out and being accessible to those often over-looked (see the story of the women who touched the edge of the garment of Jesus in Mark 5:25ff.), slow to judge, and quick to forgive.

3.                    Few things make a day better, few things make a person feel better, than a hug and some affirmation. Maybe we can’t change a whole culture, but maybe we can change the part of that culture we engage each day.  Take time to build your relationships.  Take time to “love on” somebody else and let them know how important and vital they are to you. Who can say what troubled individual you may help with a kind word, a knowing smile, or a gentle touch? Work to end the poverty of relationship in your own life, and maybe you will be ending that same sense of poverty in another’s life. Maybe random acts of kindness can win out over random acts of violence?

Real people were hurt, and hurt very seriously, last weekend in Tucson, and these few simplistic words won’t assuage their pain, suffering, or grief.  I pray that the God of healing and peace might comfort them (and us) in the living of the days to come.

Chris Conver, Recruitment and Admissions Coordinator

Assistant Professor of Theology
Campbellsville University - Louisville

¹Glen Stassen, “From an Ethicist,” RELAY: A Quarterly Newsletter for Networking Youth Ministers, Sponsored by PASSPORT, Inc., Volume 6 Number 2, Summer 1999. Pg. 3.